Love is Chaos
by Devon Shea
Summary: George meets a guard and falls in love.


"This place is mad." Havard muttered that into a mug of ale. He was sitting at a table in The Frozen Ferret, the tavern that most guards ended up visiting after their shifts were over. The knights had claimed The Rising Sun. The criminals the guards arrested had The Dragon's Dilemma, although it could be argued that the meat pies were the best at the Dilemma and almost worth going in there just to order them. Some of the guards and knights actually paid to have them delivered to the armory and guard house.

The guard sitting next to him, Nick, just chuckled. "Heard you had guard duty on the stocks today. Jack was in there, right?"

"You know him?" Havard looked up from the mug.

Nick grinned. "Oh, yes. He grew up with my youngest brother. They're best mates. I'm actually surprised the two of them weren't in there together. Usually that's the case." He took a drink from his own mug, finishing it off. "I'm going for another. You want one? I'll cover this round."

Havard nodded and thanked him. Nick had been acting a bit like a mentor for him, even if he was technically younger than Havard by about five years. Havard hadn't gotten used to the informality of the capital of the kingdom of Camelot. He was used to kingdoms where the line between noble and commoner was never blurred. Here the commoners actually had a chance of becoming knights and, by extension, noblemen in their own right, even if they were generally landless. The king's personal servant actually came into the guard house and chatted with a few of the guards. Those guards, in turn, had told Havard about the number of times they had actually arrested the man or put him in the stocks.

Havard stuck by his assessment that this place was mad.

When Nick sat down again, he placed the mug of ale in front of the confused man and clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't think too hard about it. You'll hurt yourself trying to figure this place out."

"How do you deal with it? The people not in their proper places in life?"

Nick waved his arms a bit, the liquid sloshing in the mug as he gestured around the tavern. "We're all used to it. Besides, you should have lived here when Uther was king. Everyone was afraid of everyone else and everything. We had sorcerers attacking us constantly because the king had declared magic anathema. The nobility kept getting further and further from us common folk. Under the old king, we had protections, yes, but they were scant and could be reversed at any time. King Arthur makes sure that we are, for the most part, fed and sheltered. He promotes intelligence and hard work, not just bloodlines. I think at least two of the guards are on their way to becoming knights. Real knights."

"I guess I'm just not used to it. I don't know if I will be or can be." Havard took a large gulp of his ale while Nick looked on him with sympathy.

"Camelot's not for everyone, Havard. If you sincerely think you can't take it, there are the outposts . We man those, along with the knights. Being a city guard is fine, but you can transfer to one of the outposts." He took a drink of his own. "I hope you give the city a try, though. The outposts can get awfully boring, depending on who else is assigned to them."

* * *

Havard started to regret his promise to Nick to actually give the city a try when he was called to The Dilemma to retrieve one of their regulars for time to be spent on one of the punishment details after he'd stolen a few things from the market. The guard and the bailiff all knew where he'd be. They just hoped he wouldn't have all of his cronies surrounding him when they went in for him. Unfortunately, this time he did. It had been a cracking good fight and two of the guardsman ended up having to go to Gaius, the Court Physician. They probably could have patched themselves up, but the Guard Captain liked to keep his men at their best health.

Havard helped a guard he only knew by Big John up the too many steps to the physician's chambers. Why there were that many steps going up to the chambers of the man who helped injured people, Havard decided he'd never understand, chalking it up to one of the many mysteries of Camelot that would probably plague him his entire time here. Big John had been hit over the head with a cudgel and only accepted help from the smaller Havard when standing brought on a bout of dizziness and the admission that he saw three of everything.

The physician was an older man who looked like a good stiff wind from Havard's old home on the coast would knock him right down. He certainly didn't look as if he had the strength to maneuver the much larger guard to where he needed him to attend his health, but he managed it. Gaius turned and spoke to the young man who had taken the place of his former apprentice. "I'll need the helichrysum and lavender in an oil, and boil some water for some rose hip and blackberry tisane."

"Yes, Gaius. And for Guardsman Timothy? The same oil?"

Gaius smiled at his apprentice, "Good lad. Add a little comfrey to that, why don't you, Owen?" He put his hand on Big John's forehead. "Your brain was injured when you were hit over the head, John. I have some things that will help, but the best thing for you is going to be rest. As for you, Timothy, let's sew that cut up."

Havard waited with the two injured guardsmen while Gaius and his apprentice treated them. "Guardsman Havard, you may take Timothy back to the guard house tonight, but John will have to stay overnight. I want to keep an eye on him. Brain injuries aren't to be trifled with."

Gaius chuckled as he heard the big man mutter, "Not like I had much to be injured in the first place. Else I wouldn't have been hit in the first place."

Timothy was already getting to his feet, the slashed arm in a sling. "Timothy, if you feel hot or sick in any way. If the cut begins to turn red, you will return here immediately. You will administer this balm to it after cleaning the wound each day."

Timothy smiled crookedly, "Yes, Gaius. I will."

Gaius handed the balm to Havard and sent the two men on their way, tut-tutting over John when he tried to stand up to use the chamberpot in the corner.

The next day, Guard Captain Allan, a burly man with a serious mien, sent him back to Gaius' chambers to check on the injured guard. Timothy had his sweetheart visiting and fussing over him at the barracks already. Big John was also busy when Havard knocked on the door. Gaius had pressed him into service crushing up some herbs in a mortar. "Havard! Come to spring me from the slave driver?"

"I don't know. How many of me do you see?"

John's shoulders slumped as he admitted Havard was still a bit fuzzy. Gaius just shook his head gently at the big man. "He'll be staying here at least another day. When I'm sure he can walk without getting dizzy, I'll let you take him down all of those stairs." Gaius patted Big John on the shoulder, "Sorry, John, but with the exceptions of Percival or Allan, I think you'd crush anyone who tried to stop you if you fell down them."

John nodded, then grabbed his head with the hand holding the pestle, knocking into it "Ow. That was dumb."

Havard snorted and patted the big man on the shoulder. "I'll be back for you tomorrow, Big John. Don't injure yourself any more and you might be freed then."

He was just about to leave the physician's chambers when the door opened under his hand, whacking into him as it was pushed open. "Oh, so sorry. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to do that." Havard glared at the brunet man who came through the door in a rush. "Sorry. Really. Oh, Gaius, you are here. Please come with me. One of the under cooks slipped in the kitchens and hit her head on the hearth."

"Of course, George. Let me get my bag." The physician picked up the wicker basket that held his travel medicines and minor surgery implements and rushed to the door, stopping before he left with the servant. "Havard, would you please track down Owen for me? He's supposed to be delivering medicines about the castle. Try Lady Leodegrance's chambers. If he stuck to his usual route, he'll be there."

"I don't know where that is, Gaius."

"I can do that, Gaius. You don't need me to show you where the kitchens are." George bobbed a little on his feet, obviously in a hurry for someone to go somewhere.

Gaius nodded as he left the physician's chambers, "Thank you, George. I appreciate that." He went one way, while George nodded at Havard, who looked around after the man left and shrugged before telling Big John to relax and get better.

* * *

Life in Camelot kept moving on from day to day. That wasn't to say it was ever boring. On the contrary, Havard was rarely bored. The captain had finally partnered him with Nick since they worked pretty well together. Nick was different enough and out-going enough that he made it part of his mission in life to make Havard laugh a little each day. The first time he'd truly succeeded Nick was absolutely shocked. For all of a moment before he started teasing Havard about it.

Havard ended up being brought home like a stray puppy to Nick's family's house on occasion, much to the dismay of his younger brother, who still hadn't managed to get more than a grunt out of the older guard. But Nick's family was nice. They readily shared their affections with the shyer man.

It was on a random evening when Nick's mother needed an errand run and Havard had been visiting that he ran into the servant who'd knocked the door out of his hands. He wasn't expecting to find him at the baker's house.

"Oh, hello." The brunet took in his guard uniform and frowned. "Is there a problem, guardsman?"

"Uh, no." Havard held out the basket Nick's mother had given him. "Alewife Reata sent this."

"Ah, thank you." He reached for the basket and paused when his hand brushed against Havard's, his eyes darting up to meet the brown gaze of the suddenly breathless guard. His eyes closed for a moment before he looked up again. "Would you like to come in while I empty this so you can return it, Guardsman-?"

Havard tried desperately to engage his brain. He had never before considered that he might feel this way about a man, but this was the same rush he'd felt when the headman's daughter had looked at him as a young man. He hadn't felt it since he'd arrived here in Camelot, not even for the pretty barmaid at the Ferret. Havard nodded, not trusting his mouth to open and actually say real words.

The house part of the building the baker lived in was small, with a tiny kitchen, a small room off to the side, and a loft where the man in front of him must sleep. The brunet put the basket on the table and started to pull the stoppered tankards out of the basket. "I'm George, by the way. Do you have a name or do you simply answer to 'Guardsman'?"

Havard's mouth pulled up in a tiny smile. "Havard. It's nice to meet you, George."

George smiled up at him, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. "And you. You were in Gaius' chambers when Selene fell, weren't you?"

"I was, and you nearly bashed my nose with the door." Havard's smile had grown to take the sting out of his words, but he enjoyed watching the blush deepen on George's face.

"I'm so sorry. Usually I'm much more put together. It was just a bit of a shock, it happened so quickly, and she was bleeding so much."

"Head wounds tend to. She was alright, though, right?" Havard stood carefully by the table, trying not to get any closer to George, even though all he wanted to do was rub up against him as if he was the cat he'd had as a child. He found himself wondering why the thought didn't even bother him.

George hummed as he took two mugs from the shelf above the hearth and opened one of the tankards Havard had delivered, pouring ale into one and then stopping before he poured it into the other. He looked up with dismay on his face. "I didn't think to ask. Do you want some ale?"

Havard nodded and pulled one of the chairs from the table to sit while he tried to make sense of what was happening at this precise moment.

George placed the mug in front of him before he sat in the chair across from Havard. Neither man spoke for a minute, just sipping their ale. Finally Havard found his voice. "How long have you worked at the castle?" Havard cringed inwardly at the question. Was that really what he needed to know about the man in front of him?

George looked relieved to have a question he could answer without having to think too hard about. "I've been a servant there for the last eight years." He smiled proudly. "The seneschal has even been talking about training me as his replacement when he retires."

"You must be good at your job, then."

"I try to be as meticulous as I can." George blushed a bit. "Not everyone appreciates it, but I enjoy order over chaos."

Havard chuckled, "So do I." He held his mug up in the air in a slight toast.

George's smile widened into a grin and held his own up, clinking the mug quietly with Havard's. They both took drinks from their mugs, eyes meeting each other over the rims.

* * *

As much as Havard wanted to move faster, he had decided that he would court George, and court him slowly. This was new territory for him. He wasn't sure what he should do to court a man. He started by inviting George to a dinner at the tavern. The only problem was that he didn't know which tavern should he take him to.

If he took him to the Ferret, all the guard would be there and this feeling, this whatever it was or could be was still too new and raw and mysterious to allow his fellow guardsmen to damage it with their teasing. If Havard took him to the Leaky Bucket, then the servants from the citadel would probably end up acting the same as the guards. The Dilemma had fine food, but Havard knew a guard having dinner with his potential lover in the thieves' favorite tavern was probably not a good idea. Then there was the Rising Sun. It would have been a good idea, but Havard had dealt with some of the knights and their crude humor enough that he was afraid it might scare George off, just like with the guards.

Havard thunked his head on the table in the nearly empty guardhouse while he contemplated all of this. He didn't lift it until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Havard, isn't it? Are you alright?"

He looked up into the odd blue eyes of the king's manservant and nodded crisply. "I'm fine. Just have something to work out, is all."

Merlin sat on the bench next to him. "Maybe I can help? I'm waiting here for a reply from the captain. It might take a bit while he writes it out."

"Why not? What have I got to lose? Where would you take someone to dinner if you didn't want to scare them off by taking them to any of the taverns?" Havard was taken aback by the immediate grin on the man's face.

"Outside the gates there's a glen by the stream. It's about a twenty minute walk, but it's quite lovely. If you get some food that won't spoil, you can bring it in a basket and have a nice, peaceful dinner with your lady-fair."

Havard hummed. "That's not a bad idea, Merlin. It would be private, too. We could talk without any of the other guards or servants bothering us." He smiled at the grinning man. "Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin nodded. "My pleasure, Havard. May I ask who you're courting?"

Havard shook his head. "Not yet. They may not even accept my suit."

Merlin looked up in surprise as his name was called out. The captain had obviously finished his response faster than Merlin anticipated. "Coming, Captain." He stood, but before he left the table, he leaned in just a little. "I hope your dinner goes well, Havard, and please don't take this badly, but make sure you're a gentleman." He winked to take the sting from his warning, for it was a warning, "Unless she specifically tells you otherwise, and even then, well, I'm sure you understand."

Havard bemusedly watched the servant leave. At some point he was absolutely going to tell George that Merlin had warned him about abusing his honor. He thought maybe George might be amused by it.

* * *

The picnic at the glen was only their first. It quickly became where they ended up meeting for most of their dinners. There they talked about their lives and just got to know each other. Neither man did more than occasionally brush their hand across the other's. This was new for both of them, and just a little daunting.

One evening Havard brought George a pair of gloves made of a fine linen. As he held them up in question, Havard took a chance and picked up George's other hand, turning it to reveal the cracks in the skin next to his nails from the harsh soap the servants had been using to get the citadel ready for the Summer Solstice feast. "You should wear these and that salve you told me you got from the apothecary at night. It'll help heal the cracks."

George's cheeks were stained with a blush as he curled his fingers around Havard's. "Thank you, Havard." He looked up and Havard was grateful for the last bits of sunlight. George's eyes were crinkled as he smiled up at the guard.

His hair had been growing out in the last few months that they'd been getting to know each other, and Havard found it irresistible. He lifted his free hand and gently lifted the fringe from George's forehead. He looked into those green eyes and leaned in to kiss him. Neither man closed their eyes as their lips met. Havard's lips were cracked from all the time he spent outside as a guard, where George's were softer. Their eyes fluttered shut as the kiss grew from a simple press to one deeper.

Havard let his hand drop, running the back of his fingers over George's cheek as he dropped his hand to the man's shoulder and then around to the back of his neck. George let the gloves lay in his lap as he rested his hand against Havard's chest. Gentle huffs of breath bathed both of their lips as they separated to breathe and came back together again. Havard pulled back finally and let his forehead rest against George's, both men out of breath but neither wanting to let go of the other.

"I want to be with you, Havard. I never in my life considered there might be anyone for me to love, but I have absolutely fallen in love with you. You upset my orderly life, you know."

Havard smiled. "You upset mine, too." He rubbed his thumb over George's cheek. "Maybe together we can create a new orderly life."

* * *

**Some of you will recognize Havard from my other stories. I've been shipping these two from the moment I first wrote Havard as the stoic guard who is stuck dealing with Jack and Morris. This was supposed to be a very short story but it kept growing. The boys wanted their say and a sweet little love story.**

**Merlin belongs to Shine and the BBC.**


End file.
